Boy will be boys by Courtney Holland

“What we don’t know won’t hurt,” “boys will be boys,” ”they just can’t help it,” ”all men cheat,” are things I have heard women say in today’s social world. Everyone is in fact entitled to their own opinion, however, it is disturbing for me, a feminist, to hear a woman make these comments. These comments add on to the double standard that already exists today and to break it means we have to stop giving in to socially constructed views of how women and men should behave within society. A woman making these statements, as such, stated in the beginning of this paper, is making what she feels she deserves inferior by accepting mistakes that I believe can be controlled. According to Paul Eastwick, a co-author on a study of men’s sexual impulses states, “Men have plenty of self-control -- just as much as women; however, if men fail to use self-control, their sexual impulses can be quite strong. This is often the situation when cheating occurs." Clearly the thought that it is natural for men to cheat is not accurate. Men can make their own decisions and should have self-control. I then try to ask myself how this view we have today came about. This double standard has been around for years which leads to a people being brainwashed in the 21^st century. In the colonial era, women were seen as daughters of Eve, who are sexual creatures, promiscuous, and lustful. They were thought of as weak and that they could not control their sexual desires, which is similar to the same way men are viewed today. As we move to the Victorian era, the roles society placed on women switch to men. In this era, the men are then seen as people who have sexual desires that need to be met. In this time period men were allowed to sleep with prostitutes while they were married. Women could not do the same. It was accepted that the men had these so called sexual needs. Similar views of male dominance and sexual desires that need to be fulfilled still exist as a double standard today. These current social views make it hard for people, particularly women to have hope for commitment and loyalty in a relationship. Even though it may be hard because society and media play a big role in our life, we need women as well as men to advocate against these socially incorrect double standard. Self-control is real. We need to change this double standards so that there are equal opportunities for the sexes. Males are seen as dominant and more capable of doing jobs, and full of sexual desires that need to be met. It is true that in a corporate jobs men have higher pay wages than women. It’s true that some women expect men to cheat because of their lust for sex. The change can start in our education systems. If teachers started teaching equality between the sexes and upholding it in classrooms then it can spark new views of society for the growing generations to come.

HUFFPOST, "Male Sexuality May Explain Why Men Cheat More Than Women." Last modified September 23, 2013. 2014.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/23/male-sexuality_n_3976689.html. (Accessed February 25, 2014)